When you’re facing a white, blank screen trying to decide what to write, it seemed hopeless and hopeful at the same time. It’s like watching a boat with its sails unfurled but there’s no wind, yet you wait and then see the tide turning. You have to stop the distractions. Shut the door. Wait until your breathing is regular and your mind relaxed, like your wrists on the table infront of you.
I imagine me looking sideways but not hearing anything. The sounds come much later. I see the big mass of color first, the greens. Just the vegetation, moving, not even individual trees, not leaves, just the big green. Then behind it the blue sky, unfocused and floating. Do not concern your brain with the details. Forget the words and the punctuations. But be mindful of the flow, trace the outlines, hear the motions. Sometime these things don’t have a name, give it a name.
How do you give something a name and still be honest? How do you keep your writing honest?
I had to stand up and pace the room but when I do this I’m immediately woken up from sleep. Sometimes I forget the names and what it is I’m writing about. I have to start with a blank page again. This made me a good typist. Soon I am writing again. I have their names again. But the weather is turning sour on me. I start to think about the words and the punctuations. It smells I know. I can hear the sounds this time and tried to ignore the beating wings of the birds on the trees. It’s should be raining but I don’t trust the words anymore.
What’s the secret to keeping your writing honest?
I turned around to see me standing before a mirror. I don’t know if the mirror is make believe but I know I see me. I was looking into my eyes looking into my eyes. What was preventing me from saying exactly what I wanted to say? I moved the chair and the table away. I took the pen and paper but laid them down somewhere else. I shook my shoulders. I sat down and used my words.